Big day today...

Preparing to take my baby boy in for lots of testing and hopefully answers as a result. Praying that nothing at all is wrong with him. Hoping that he will have a normal childhood playing sports and running and climbing like the little monkey boy that he is.

Candles of prayer have been lit. Requests have been made to God. Hope is in my heart as well as faith. Faith that God is in charge and would not aflict my child with a horrible disease if it weren't necessary for a bigger purpose. Faith that I have the strength to handle whatever is thrown my way. And gratitude for the blessing he has given me in this little boy. My Jake Kenneth Paul...with Grandpa's blue eyes. Thank you.

Music....keeps me going.

Grateful for music...and lots of it...have itunes jamming on the computer in my room and the ipod jamming in the kitchen. So no matter where I go in this shoebox of a flat, I hear music...music to keep me going, get me motivated, take my mind off my worries. Music to seep inside my heart and make me think about good things, bad things...all the amazing things that make life worth living. What would I do without music?

Tomorrow is the big day. Four hours and a battery of testing to determine whether or not Jake has FA. Last night I was watching Extreme Home Makeover...there were two little girls with muscular dystrophy and the team rebuilt them a home that was accessible for them and it was truly amazing. I hope and pray that I never have to worry about that. I hope that all of these symptoms are just growing pains, normal childhood issues and not a sign of something worse. But again...I believe that God does not give us struggles that we cannot overcome. I have faith that if the worst is to be, we will be strong enough to get through it. I have a deep and powerful faith in God. I am not a churchgoer...however I don't feel that you need to be in a church to believe in or pray to God. And I know that God is in control of all things. I truly feel that Jake was put on this earth for a very special purpose which is yet to be determined. He will make this world a better place. He already has. My world has brightened up so much since he came into it. I am a very lucky mommy with two amazing children....God has blessed me and continues to do so each day. And I thank Him for that...every day.

So I have another day off...I am still sick but feeling better each day. I have the music going and now it's time for me to get going...packing, switching out the summer clothes, cleaning, laundry, pulling out Ashley's air conditioner...a good day to get some inside chores accomplished. It's chilly outside. I have my dad's thermal shirt on to keep me warm and music to motivate...so off I go.

Gratitude and Prayers

Have had a lot on my mind lately....trying to preoccupy myself with the house hunt helps somewhat, but not enough. Didn't get the house in Allen Park, made an offer on the Taylor house. And the cycle continues. At least it has provided me with a way to keep my mind off of Tuesday....

Speaking of which...in two days I will be taking my son in for a battery of tests to determine if he has a neuromuscular disease called Friedreich's Ataxia. It is a hereditary disease that runs in my family, a recessive gene trait defect that falls within the Muscular Dystrophy family, although technically, it is an ataxia, not a dystrophy...anyway, you know Jerry's Kids, the Labor Day Telethon...I have faith that his testing will prove that he is indeed fine. I have been praying that this will be the end result. I know that whatever happens, God does not give us more than we can handle. Jakey started showing symptoms this year, sometime after his appendix ruptured. He is young to be showing signs of this disease, yet it happens after trauma or injury or illness...and a ruptured appendix certainly falls within that category, especially at age 3. So I try not to focus on this, however, how can I not? He is my baby boy. I don't want anything bad to happen to him. It's my job to make sure of that. And so I am grateful for faith and hope and for doctors and neurologists that know about this disease and can give me the answers I need and provide the testing required to determine if in fact he does have this. It could indeed just be growing pains and coincidence that his symptoms are the same as what FA would show. Regardless, he is a strong little boy with a strong mommy. And we will get through any struggles that are sent our way. I will make sure of that. God will make sure of that. And until this ordeal is over, I will continue to try and occupy my mind and thoughts with other things. Worry doesn't help nor solve anything. It's just another waiting game...what life is all about, I suppose. And so I wait. And hope. And pray. And above all, give thanks for my little sunshine boy who has blessed my life so much. With him and Ashley, I can get through anything at all. That much I do know.

The Waiting Game...

So I know it's only been two days since my offer went through, but the waiting game is no fun! Just would like to know so that I can either finish looking or start looking again...I am obsessed with searching for houses and it's driving me crazy! So I am praying for an answer SOON!!!

Today I stayed home from work with Jakey...both of us are sick...he is still coughing his head off and I feel like my head is about to fall right off my neck. Slept off and on most of the day and just took it easy. Had a fever most of the day, still do. Just want to crawl back in bed and hope to feel better tomorrow. I sure hope Jake can shake his cough so that he can go back to school and I feel good enough to go back to work tomorrow. Don't want to call off again.

So that's it...waiting waiting waiting....wish Jose would get ahold of that lady with the listing agent and find out what the hell is going on!! If my offer isn't accepted, I want to make an offer on the house in Taylor. But I can't do that until I know and I don't want to lose out on both!!! So wish me luck!

House Hunt Continues...

...with another offer on another home...or property, I should say, as it is not a home until it is mine. This one is in Allen Park...3 bed, 2 bath, nice brick ranch....and so we shall see if it is meant to be...it will be mine. Now, just a waiting game to see if the bank accepts my offer...but I have a better outlook this time because I know that if they don't accept it there is something better waiting for me and my family. That's a fact.

I am sick...Jake is sick...he's been sick for going on a week...it was inevitable that I would contract his germs as my little batman still sleeps with his little head on my shoulder, snuggled up with me every night. Thank God for king sized beds!!! I am drained and feeling tired, can't breathe, my head feels like it's about to explode. So this is going to be short...as I give thanks for our quick recovery from the autumn viruses and look forward to breathing normally soon! Into the shower for another day of work...at least I am stalled from viewing more houses until I hear from that bank....

And I can't close without saying good luck to my friend, Jose....he has a big day tomorrow. It will be a successful day for him and a new door open for new opportunities. He deserves that...and he will get it...no doubt in my mind.

Off to work...let it speed by quickly so that I can relax a bit and try to feel better...

Might be tougher to break them than I thought!!

Okay, so the bank isn't budging...what is up with that??? Don't they know that nobody else wants to buy their crappy house anyway? Jeez...well, it's okay....because we are going to find the perfect house, Jose promised me...and I don't think he would break his promise! Not to batgirl! And he knows about my can-o-whoopass, too...anyway, guess they will be sitting on that house for a while. And I still think that they will realize their mistake and call back with a better offer for me!! We shall see...no matter what, La Vida es Dulce...............si senor!!!

A New Day

So this morning I woke up full of energy! Amazing...I can see myself in that house. I am confident that the bank will come back with a counter offer that is within my range and I will make it happen! I don't know why I am so stuck on this house...maybe it's the street name Kennebec resembling my dad's name, Kenneth. I never thought I would want a house without a basement but something is drawing me to this house in spite of its flaws. I am always searching for 'signs' to the things that occur in my life. And when it comes down to it, it's got to be the law of attraction...simple as that. There is a reason for everything. I do believe that. Maybe I don't always understand what those reasons are...but that is what life is all about...learning, living, growing. Truly amazing, God's splendor. I am so blessed and so thankful for all the gifts in my life. And regardless of whether I am right or wrong with this particular house, it doesn't matter, because all things shall come together for me and my kids and we will be in the home that is meant for us...

I have finally made an appointment for my son with the Muscular Dystrophy Association. Two weeks from today. I know that God doesn't give us anything we cannot handle, so I am trying to focus on that and not worry. I am the luckiest mommy in the world to have been blessed with my little Jakey. And we have my Dad looking over us as well. I believe that. I feel his presence still in my life. He is behind so many of my decisions. I miss him so much but I still feel him and his strength.

And into the shower I go....ready for a new day and grateful for all that God has brought to me today. La vida es dulce!!!

The Sun is Rising...

The sun is coming up and it sure is beautiful. Woke up full of energy this morning and a list a mile long of things to accomplish today.

I had a dream last night that I was running and running...I don't know from what or to what. But it was exhilarating. I was on a beach, much like this picture from my Florida vacation. The ocean was peacefully breaking into the shore. And all I could do was run. It wasn't out of fear, like I was trying to get away from something...can't even explain it...but anyway, I feel like I am back to myself. I had a couple rough days...it happens. I find myself wishing for things to be different. I dwell on memories and hopes when really I just have to remember that in spite of it all, life is still beautiful. Thanks for that, Jose...

A pesar de todo que linda es la vida! I have to embed that in my brain.

I am ready to start my day...a beautiful day, for certain. I will accomplish all that I set out to accomplish today. I will get my chores done and enjoy all that the day has to offer.......and continue packing up boxes preparing for the move that is sure to happen soon!