At the Crossroad.......

Well, I have been at this crossroad for over a year now...and still cannot decide what to do. There is a simple blood test, DNA, that will tell whether or not my son has FA. It is an expensive test and not covered by insurance. That is part of the reason for putting it off. But the primary reason is, I simply am not sure that I want to know the answer. I have struggled with this in my mind, in my heart. I just don't know what to do. I keep telling myself that by not knowing, there is still hope...yet the symptoms persist and new ones come along. Every time he falls down...is it because he's 5 or is it because he has FA? His heart problems, are they related or is it something he will outgrow? The pain that comes and goes...the jerking of his legs at night when he's sleeping...other signs here and there that more than likely confirm the diagnosis, but yet there is only one way to know for certain. And I continue to struggle with that decision. I know that regardless, we will overcome whatever challenges come our way...but I still want to hope that my sweet little boy will not be in a wheelchair, will not live a shortened life, and will continue on to have a happy, healthy, normal childhood and grow into a fine young man.